2008 Smiles and Laughs

Hi Everybody!

I really enjoy reading everyone's posts here. On the days when there is a new post, it really makes me smile. Yet, I don't seem real apt to make a post of my own. It's a little strange going from our time together in Nosara, integrating back in to the "other life" (albeit slowly and with fits for me), and feeling so far away and so disconnected from everyone. If anyone feels similar to that, know that I'm right there with you.

My Life Update:
Work:
I tried to quit my job. You'd think that that would be as easy as saying "I quit!" However, that only works when you're 15. It gets increasingly complicated with each job after that. As it stands now, saying "I quit!" got me a sabbatical (unpaid except when they need me to consult) and a promotion. I'm not reporting that while doing the "look how cool I am!" dance or anything of the sort. I'm conveying how convoluted things are in the "other world". Part of me wants to run naked and screaming from the building and flail in the street: "No! No, no, no, no, no! I want my freedom!" The other part of me is watching the events unfold and doing so with a certain degree of detachment. I'm certainly unsure about a lot of things. Nothing is black and white; cut and dry; good and evil; right and wrong. There is an endless amount of gray in the world, and I have the hardest time trying to separate out the shades of gray and figure out which shade is right FOR ME.

Then, the work saga continued. Based on a really bizarre set of events, it appears that if I work some of my famous work magic, I will be able to get my former colleague back on my team and allocate myself another position that won't begin until January 2009. The translation to that bizarre situation is that I can go on my OZ/NZ trip; take 6 months off in Italy scoping my life's goal of a yoga studio there; and walk back in to a position here in Germany in January 2009. All of that and getting my former colleague back on the team to run things while I'm gone. (This is all very possible in this moment, though none of it is a sure thing.)

Again, I want to run naked and screaming into the street. Then, there is the other side of things that makes me really perplexed with the universe. Is the Ancient One fucking with me? Or is the universe handing me an incredible gift? I have no idea. For now I'm marching forward, closing down my life in Germany, and trying to get things together for my time off. In December of 2008, I'll decide what it is I'm willing to do in January 2009. That sounds sort of like a plan.

Yoga:
I've been teaching a few classes and truly (from the heart) loving it. I've taught a few Friday night Ashtanga Primary Series classes at a studio in Heidelberg. Last Saturday I taught a Vinyasa Flow at that same studio. I'll teach that Vinyasa Flow class again in a few hours.

I was approached by a group of women who work on one of the local military bases who wanted to know if I would be willing to teach a Beginner class at they gym on the military base a few nights a week. Absolutely I am willing. I've attempted to make contact with the coordinator of the gym to see if I can get that off the ground. I'm sure that there is a complicated set of bureaucratic rules and liability issues. However, I may get it to work. I'll keep you updated.
When I was approached by that group of women, it did make me think of Amba. I was remembering how she shared with us the story of when she was first trying to organize yoga travel to Costa Rica that the participants always were very overweight women and that there were many challenges associated with that. This group of women is the same. I think of the challenge of sharing yoga with that group.

This also came up in a different way last Saturday when I was teaching the Vinyasa Flow at the studio. There were 6 students - 2 were highly advanced, 2 were intermediate, and 2 were beginners who were on a yoga mat for the first time in their lives. I admit to having had a great deal of difficulty in trying to reach all 6. I didn't take any pause during the class, as I just kept flowing in my groove. I tried to show variations in all key poses and just tried to send out positive, loving energy to everyone. However, I had a lot of reflection after the class on how to share yoga with such a mixed audience. That was not an easy situation. I thought that the beginner male was going to crack his skull open on the floor (he was determined to try postures that his body wasn't up for). Then, I was questioning whether or not I should attempt full expressions of postures or take a beginner variation as an example. I noticed that when I would take a beginner variation, so would everyone else in the class. Really I still cannot figure out entirely how to resolve this situation.

Perhaps that is a topic for all of us to explore here.

So far I'm just trying to focus on teaching from my heart.

That's all from me for now.

EILEEN: Thank you SO MUCH for sending me photos! That so made my day. Actually, it still is making my week.

PAUL: Thank you also for the photo of us! I'm sorry that I haven't written you back yet. Life (see above) has been a bit complicated, and I'm not sure where my head is exactly.

LISA: I will call you later today!

If anybody here is in touch with any of the folks who have yet to sign up here (see list on the right side), please encourage them to sign in. I'd really love to have us all here together. I kind of have this sadness in me that people are missing.

I send love to you all. Please stay in touch.

Namaste,
Jennie